Revising our Writing

We have been hard at work revising our Native American journal entry! We started by thinking about good beginnings and strong endings. We have also worked on:

•  Word choice -- Said is Dead!
•  Sensory details -- we read a beautiful book called Bread Song which does an incredible job of weaving in sensory details
• Adding dialogue
• Figurative language -- mostly similes and metaphors with a little bit of personification 

As we come to the end of our revision work there are a few ideas we are working to keep in mind:

Here are a few examples of revisions that have been made to student work:

This author has used our revising booklet's space to add to both the beginnin

g and ending on this page.

Here's an example of three new beginnings. We discussed that the third 

beginning was almost always our most successful. 

Great dialogue! Wonderful details!

WOW! What great dialogue!

This author added to the end of their original "paragraph"

What amazing detail! Just the kind 5th graders just love to read!